we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So. Much. Porn.
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