bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
and she was petting her beer can
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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