playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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