i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
