69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
