9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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