He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
