So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She's the barista slut.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
