I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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