If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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