fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize