He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
