just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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