Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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