I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
