I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
someone owes me an orgasm
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
