I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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