she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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