my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
