i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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