Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
