It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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