Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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