But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
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You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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