worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
