She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
