Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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