okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
