So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
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I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
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Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
FUCK WHALES
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