Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.