In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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