Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize