The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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