Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
