I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
