so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize