As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
