sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
