He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
