I need help removing her.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
