Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
