I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
