I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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