It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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