It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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