Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win

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(850): View more from Florida

So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.

(850): View more from Florida

I guess we all know what he was cookin.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again

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(703): View more from Virginia

I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.

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(256): View more from Alabama

i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.

(1-256): View more from Alabama

dude how high are you right now?

(256): View more from Alabama

do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire

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(251): View more from Alabama

Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway

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