bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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