I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
