Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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