i just had sex bonerless
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
