My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
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We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
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I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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