That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
