I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
