Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
