I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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