My friends, they love my intelligence
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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