There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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