quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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