I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
