Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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