I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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