This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
