she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
